


Albrecht's Night

by GarGoyl



Category: NaPolA | Before the Fall (2004)
Genre: Angst, Blood, Dark, Gen, Supernatural Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-14
Updated: 2014-11-14
Packaged: 2018-02-25 09:36:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2617106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GarGoyl/pseuds/GarGoyl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Albrecht's fate seems to be decided, but one winter night will bring about a far more disturbing turn of events...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Numb

**Warnings: dark/angsty/gore. A story I wrote for the sake of my inner demons.**

" _The shade is a tool, a device, a savior_

 _Cloud come, shove the sun aside" –_ Deftones _, My own summer_

* * *

 

The school grounds were covered in fresh sparkling snow. Winter had taken over everything, in all its pure, perfectly white, yet cruel and freezing beauty. This strange world of ours had such a way of displaying itself at its most beautiful just when one was much too troubled to enjoy the sight. Friedrich thought of that as they walked slowly, close to each other, two dark figures wrapped tightly in their coats, further and further away from the school. They advanced into the soothing shadow of the nearby forest, at the far end of the school grounds, until eventually they came to a halt under the pine trees.

"You know, that was the first essay my father has ever read," Albrecht said bluntly, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

"What are you going to do now?"

"I don't know…" Albrecht took a deep breath. "He's given me a month. One month."

"A month?" Friedrich almost sighed in relief. A month was quite a while. A lot could happen in a month. Maybe Albrecht's father could change his mind about sending him to the front.

"I thought you said you'll be seventeen in a week…" he asked, still puzzled. "I thought, I was afraid… that he'll send you away next week."

"In which case we can say that he was generous!" Albrecht replied, suddenly annoyed.

"Hey, what-"

"I'm so angry, Friedrich! So angry, and I feel so helpless! So damn helpless!" he shouted. "And this is not even about me anymore! I can't…You were right! I did not help anyone, least of all myself! I can't change anything! Anything!"

Friedrich witnessed his friend's outburst in silence, finding nothing to say to comfort him. He just stared at the snow covering the tip of his boots.

"I'm sorry I brought you out here, in the cold," Albrecht whispered almost shyly. "I just…I need to be alone."

Friedrich suddenly raised his head as he heard Albrecht's hurried steps walking away, in the direction of the trees.

"Hey! Where are you going?" he called, but the other boy ignored him, going further away, until he sunk into the pitch black darkness of the forest.

"Albrecht! ALBRECHT!"

Friedrich followed as fast as he could, stumbling in the fresh snow, but under the branches he lost sight of his friend. He stepped carefully among the thick roots, focusing his gaze and tensing his hearing, but it was too dark and the hissing of the cold, harsh wind muffled all other sounds. He waited for a while in vain, pacing back and forth, and then decided to go back.

* * *

 

Friedrich grew more and more worried as dinner came and went and so did the next two hours before bedtime, and there was still no sign of Albrecht. Almost all the other boys were already in bed when he finally showed up, only a few minutes before curfew. Friedrich studied his friend's face as he walked into the bedroom without a word. The angry expression from earlier had been replaced by one of numb, trance-like shock, like a frozen fright.

"Albrecht? Are you ok?"

Albrecht peeled off his uniform with automatic gestures, letting it slip on the floor in a messy pile.

"No…"

Before Friedrich could ask anything else, he climbed to his bunk and dropped on the bed, face down.

A horrible nightmare took Friedrich as soon as he closed his eyes. He was back in the woods, and the ancient pine trees surrounded him, menacing. He felt a sharp, intrusive cold deep into his bones as he ran, or rather struggled to, stumbling on fallen branches, fighting the snow and the hidden roots that trapped his feet at every step. He was trying to follow Albrecht, but Albrecht had become no more than a pale shadow, illusive and unreachable, fading away. Friedrich called, but every time his voice was quickly absorbed in the still, suffocating silence.

 _Albrecht! Wait!_ He screamed one last time, falling to his knees. Suddenly Albrecht turned to him and smiled. His stomach cringed and his heart sank at the sight of his friend's sad, goodbye smile. And then there was a wolf howl, somewhere close, very close and Albrecht disappeared.

Friedrich jumped from his sleep with a loud gasp, squeezing the rough blanket between his clenched fists. His whole body was covered in a cold sweat and he trembled. He took a few deep breaths to relax, pulled the blanket up to his chin and was about to go back to sleep, when the corner of his eye caught the bizarre reflection of the moonlight into Albrecht's wide open eyes, as he lay on his back motionless. He tossed the covers aside and jumped down from his bed, ignoring the cold floor beneath his bare feet.

The sinister suspicion that had haunted his mind for a brief moment was dissolved when he saw that Albrecht was breathing.

"Hey! Albrecht!" he whispered. He leaned and shook his shoulder gently. Albrecht's pupils moved slowly and focused on him with difficulty.

"Are you ok?"

Albrecht tried to speak but suddenly his body was jerked upwards by a violent cough. "I need to throw up," he muttered, covering his mouth with his hand, as he struggled to get out of bed and pushed Friedrich aside.

* * *

 

"Where have you been? I was so worried! And it's cold in here, you shouldn't do that," Friedrich questioned leaning on the bathroom door. Eventually Albrecht slowly raised his head from the sink and turned off the faucet. He ran his fingers through his wet hair and sniffed.

"I asked you something!" Friedrich insisted.

"Why should you worry about me now? What _more_ do you think could possibly happen to me? Technically I'm as good as dead…" he replied in a mild tone that sounded almost ironic.

"What? Don't say that, Albrecht!" Friedrich jumped, but his anger somewhat melted into sadness. "I mean yes, I know, it's bad, but it can't… it won't be _like that._ "

Albrecht looked strangely calm and painfully resigned, as if all strength and will had left him. Friedrich found it revolting beyond words to see him like that.

"Yes it will, Friedrich. He said I won't survive this and he meant it."

"Why can't you just write that stupid essay then? That's all he asks of you!"

"This is not about the essay, Friedrich. Or not just about the essay, at least. He would have done it anyway sooner or later, just needed some excuse I suppose. Some ultimate confirmation that I'm not the son he always wanted… In fact, not only I am not that, but I have proved to be a total and utter disappointment and embarrassment to him." Albrecht concluded sighing.

Friedrich crossed his arms and tilted his head to one side. "You don't know that. You're just assuming that's why he did this or said that or whatever. Maybe he just wanted to scare you, to determine you to see things his way. I don't know, maybe if you had shown him some benevolence…"

"Friedrich, he's my father and as such I have given him all my love, always," Albrecht said pressing one hand against his chest. "But none of the things I could do has ever warmed his heart towards me. That's a fact and I must take it as it is."

"Fine. Look, I don't want to go through all that again. And if you don't want to talk to me, or tell me where you've been, also fine."

With that, Friedrich turned his back on him and stomped angrily back into the bedroom.

He lay in bed for a while, unable to sleep, staring at the ceiling. At last he rummaged under his pillow and checked his watch, it was past midnight. He had turned to one side, begging for sleep to take him fast when he heard some light footsteps approaching his bed, then his blanket was pulled and Albrecht slipped in bed next to him.

"Friedrich…" he whispered.

"What?" came the muttered reply.

"I'm cold…"

"My blanket is no better than yours."

"Can I sleep here with you?"

Friedrich turned to face him. "No, of course you can't!" he snapped angrily. "Are you out of your mind? What if someone-"

"Please, I… I'm cold. I'm freezing," Albrecht begged, his voice barely audible.

"And whose fault is it that you stood outside in the cold for hours and now you've dipped your head in cold water? Hm?"

"I'm sorry…I didn't mean to upset you. But I'm scared."

"I know…"

Albrecht bit his lower lip, hesitating. "No, you don't."

"What do you mean?"

"Tonight, in the woods, I saw something…"

Suddenly Friedrich was afraid too, overwhelmed once more by the exasperating feeling that he had to deal with way more than he could handle, just like the night they had been sent to hunt the Russian prisoners. He wished he could be spared of further revelations of the world he had once so eagerly embraced, and that he could tell Albrecht that he did not want to know, but his conscience condemned him to an awkward silence. He simply pulled his friend into his arms and held him tightly.

"You cannot tell anyone… anyone," Albrecht whispered. He paused for a few moments and looked as if his lips somehow refused to obey him.

"I saw a girl there, in the woods…" he said at last. "She was only wearing a light dress and she was barefoot, in the snow…There was blood on her face and on her clothes…"

"Oh my God, Albrecht! Who was she?" Friedrich whispered back, terrified.

"I don't know… Her dress was ragged and dirty and her hair was ruffled… When she saw me, she ran away…"

"On the way here, on the other side of the main road, I saw a large brick building, with barred windows and barb wired fence," Friedrich recalled. "It's probably a prison, just like the one closer to the town, where the Russians had escaped from. But I've heard a rumor that it's not a prison. That it's a camp where they send people who…" he whispered fast, in a subconscious attempt to chase away terror.

Albrecht however had fallen silent and simply stared at the wall past Friedrich's shoulder.

"Do you think she could have escaped from there?" Friedrich asked.

Albrecht did not answer. For a while there was no other sound but the wild wind outside, blowing stronger and stronger.

"You should have seen her eyes, Friedrich," he said suddenly, without breaking his empty stare.

"Don't think about it now. Try to get some sleep, I'll wake you up tomorrow before Jaucher comes," Friedrich soothed him, pulling him closer and wrapping the rough blanket around their bodies.

"Black…" Albrecht murmured against his shoulder.


	2. Secret

"Up! Up!" Jaucher shouted in the usual shrieking voice that grazed on everyone's brain each morning.

Friedrich jumped from his sleep, terrified, cursing himself inwardly and expecting the worst. But he was alone in his bed. With a quick glance he discovered that Albrecht's bed was empty and the covers properly arranged. He hopped down, rather confused.

"You ok?" Christoph asked him, still half asleep himself.

"Yes. Do you have any idea where Albrecht is?"

"I think he went out for a morning walk before breakfast," Christoph answered with a large yawn.

"A morning walk?" Friedrich stared out in disbelief. Outside, the blizzard whipped mercilessly against the bedroom windows and the view was nothing but a white blur.

Christoph shrugged reaching for his jacket. Friedrich dressed hurriedly and headed to the dining hall. There he found Albrecht, sitting in a remote corner. Instead of his usual light breakfast, there was a bloody steak in his plate, and he was eating with great appetite.

"Good morning!" He greeted Friedrich with a light smile.

Friedrich sat next to him, observant. "Good morning indeed! Look, I'm sorry I overslept, if Jaucher-"

"It's ok," Albrecht said with the same smile.

"So what's with the morning walk and the gore dish?" Friedrich asked curious.

"The walk was invigorating and I'm having a manly breakfast," Albrecht explained calmly, biting his lower lip in his usual way.

Friedrich raised an eyebrow. "Manly breakfast? Does your father possess you this morning or what?"

Albrecht laughed softly.

"No. It's a fine day and I was hungry," He paused to pop another piece of almost raw meat into his mouth. "And that ruffian could never possess my spirit," he added, not bothering to lower his voice.

Friedrich winced and stared around anxious, but nobody seemed to have heard.

"Albrecht! You cannot talk like that about your father!"

"Why not? It's true. When he was my age he was already working for three years. What do you think he was working?"

Friedrich instantly suspected that this was yet another thing he'd rather not know. "What was he working?"

"Officially he was working in a factory; unofficially he was in the debt recovery business. He bullied widows and old people to make them pay their debts to money lenders."

Albrecht stuck his fork into the meat decisively.

"Who told you that?"

"One of his drunken friends, at a party. Everybody knew, but me. My mother was by my side and she didn't even _seem_ surprised."

Friedrich had not expected something like that and was at a loss for words. His friend's unexpected shift made him uneasy. For a moment he had the bizzare feeling that someone else was sat next to him at the table. Suddenly he could no longer touch his own breakfast. Albrecht however continued his impassible.

"But that's not what you said last night! You said that you've always loved him. How does _that_ go with what you just said?"

"It goes just fine I suppose. First comes the love, then the pain, and then the bitterness."

Albrecht pressed the napkin against his lips and stood to leave.

"And what comes after bitterness?" Friedrich asked staring down at his still half full plate, avoiding to meet his gaze.

"I don't know..."

* * *

 

In the evening, after classes, Albrecht disappeared again, without a word. After looking for him everywhere, Friedrich ended up in the small newspaper office. Sighing and feeling strangely worn out, he removed his jacket and settled in a chair, examining the disordered pile of papers on the desk. It was so unlike Albrecht to neglect his work, he thought, pulling a half-written page from the typewriter. For a while he delved into the lecture of the unfinished article, as he waited. Eventually it bored him and he placed it carefully on the table. He walked to the window and opened it largely, leaning on the sill. Outside, the storm had faded to some extent, but it was still snowing and the air was freezing cold. Friedrich inhaled deeply, with his gaze lost in the darkness. The moon cast a pale, silvery light on the dark pine trees, suddenly reminding him of his nightmare. He hurried to close the window and to return to the safe familiarity of the small room. Just then the door opened and Albrecht walked in.

"Let me guess, you were in here all the time," Friedrich had started to say, but upon observing Albrecht he stopped abruptly.

Albrecht's coat was tousled and covered with snow mixed with pine tree needles. His hair was disheveled and damp and his face white as paper. He blinked a few times, apparently surprised by the bright light.

"Have you been in the woods again?" Friedrich questioned, crossing his arms.

His friend nodded slowly.

"What stupidity!" Friedrich jumped. "What were you thinking? There was a blizzard last night and all day today. That girl, whoever she was, well she's… gone, and there's nothing you could do for her, even if you did find her…"

Albrecht bit his lip in his usual way, but said nothing.

"You didn't… find her, did you?"

"No, she… I only found a piece of cloth from her dress hanging in the barbed wire at the northern fence but the snow covered all trails. All I can hope is that she passed over to the other side and went as far from the school as possible…"

Friedrich had a vague but persistent feeling in his gut that Albrecht was lying, but decided to ignore it. He nodded, sighing. Just then he noticed that Albrecht's left wrist was bandaged with a rag.

"What happened to your hand?"

Albrecht stared down at his hand as if he'd forgotten all about it.

"I tripped and fell down there, near the fence, and cut myself in the wire. It's nothing…"

Albrecht took off his coat, passed a hand through his hair and pulled the sleeve down over his injured wrist. He sat on his chair in front of the typewriter and grimaced.

"I was worried about you," Friedrich said gently. "Are you ok?"

"I don't feel like writing tonight… I'm tired. And cold." He hugged himself, rubbing his upper arms.

"It's pretty warm in here, you'll feel better. Don't you want to finish your article?" Friedrich asked handing him the half-written paper he'd read earlier. "I read it and I think it's really good."

Albrecht reached for the sheet slowly and held it with two fingers for a moment, before tossing it casually on top of the pile.

"You read it and you think it's boring," he said calmly. His piercing gaze startled Friedrich.

"No, I don't think it's boring. It's about the Winter Festivities and… um…"

"And the Winter Festivities are boring. The music is boring, the speeches are boring, and everybody hopes that the at least the food will be good."

"No, I don't think that… Ok. Ok, it's boring. But it's the subject, not the… wording," Friedrich admitted.

"Maybe you could finish it for me? It has to be done but I can't."

"What? You know I don't write-"

"I can't write this anymore. It makes me feel suffocated." Albrecht stood up from his desk and walked to the window. "Have you ever thought what it would be like to be out there?" he said glancing outside, towards the dark woods. "Free? To run free?"

Friedrich winced, terror gripping him again for some unknown reason. "Free? No. It's scary out there, dark and cold. And you're scaring me."

"Why?"

"I don't know, you're being weird. You were weird last night and you've been even weirder today."

Albrecht turned to look at him and there was an odd gleam in his eyes. Something foreign and frightening. But the bizarre expression only lasted for a brief moment before turning into sadness.

"I'm sorry, Friedrich. I'm just having a hard time dealing with what's going on. I don't know what to do and how to be anymore," he almost whispered.

Friedrich shifted his weight from one leg to another and stuffed his hands in his pockets feeling uncomfortable.

"I'm still cold. I'm going to bed." Albrecht said and headed to the door.


	3. Beast

The next day passed uneventful until the end of classes, when there was a sudden commotion among the students. A rumor broke out that the guards patrolling on the school grounds had captured something, but no one knew what.

 _Or who_ Friedrich thought terrified. The disturbing thought ate at him all through his boxing practice and he had trouble concentrating. As soon as he finished his shower, he dressed quickly and rushed on the stairs to the newspaper office. He was somewhat relieved to hear the monotonous sound of the typewriter behind the massive oak door.

"We need to talk," he said as he walked in hurriedly.

"Sure," Albrecht replied without shifting his gaze from the paper in front of him. "Could you please close the door? It's so cold in here…"

Friedrich thought it was one of the warmest rooms in the whole school, way warmer than the bedroom, but didn't mention it. Instead he fretted nervously.

"Did you hear what all the fuss is about? They say that the guards caught something…" he finally said hesitantly.

Albrecht stopped typing and gave Friedrich a curious gaze.

"Listen, do you think…?"

"No, they caught something else," his friend said rather excited, rising from his desk. "Do you want to see?"

Friedrich took a step back, surprised. "What? Ho-how do _you_ know what they caught…?"

Albrecht smiled mysteriously and motioned towards the door. "Come, I'll show you."

He led Friedrich to the end of the corridor, where there was a small wooden door. Albrecht opened it, revealing a spiraled staircase that descended several floors down.

"This way."

Friedrich patted the inside wall for a light switch but found none. The only light came from the corridor and he realized that once they shut the door from the inside there would be pitch dark down the stairs.

"Do you have a flashlight?" he asked Albrecht, who had already begun to descend.

"Close the door, Friedrich. It's just some stairs," his friend's voice came from below.

Friedrich took a deep breath and followed, clinging to the wooden balustrade at every step. He quickly lost count of the floors and the sound of Albrecht's footsteps faded. The descent seemed to take forever, until, eventually, he bumped his head into a wall and guessed that he must have reached the bottom.

"Albrecht! Where are you?" he inquired a bit panicked.

"I'm right here." 

Albrecht's hand grabbed his and pulled him away from the wall he was patting blindly. He heard a switch and a pale bulb illuminated the place. After a few moments of concentration, Friedrich recognized the basement where he'd been brought on the night after the hunt. There were two rows of barred cells on each side of the long corridor.

"We shouldn't be here!" he whispered angrily. "Damn it Albrecht! What if they catch us?"

"They won't, there's no one here," Albrecht replied as he advanced and began inspecting the cells. "Oh, here, come," he said motioning with his head towards one of the cells while fumbling with a set of keys.

"What are you doing?" Friedrich questioned alarmed. "Where the hell did you get those?!"

But Albrecht opened the door and stepped inside the cell. Friedrich approached carefully, peeking inside, but the cell was half sunken in darkness. He saw his friend kneeling and stretching his arms forward.

"Come, my beauty," he heard him whisper.

Friedrich stood motionless in front of the door, terrified. He expected the girl's fragile figure to emerge from the shadows, ragged and bloody, just the way he'd imagined her. Why the hell did Albrecht have to get him into this? Albrecht had the kind of bravery that was guaranteed to get one into trouble, the kind he'd always feared.

He was cursing himself inwardly for following his friend down there, when he noticed a pair of yellow eyes watching him intently from the dark side of the cell. Startled, he stumbled a few steps back.

"ALBRECHT! Get out of there!" he shouted, without breaking eye contact with the yellow gaze.

"Stop screaming, you're scaring it," Albrecht muttered, then repeated the gentle call.

The yellow eyes remained fixed on Friedrich for another moment before they slowly shifted their focus to Albrecht. An enormous wolf stepped carefully into the light, drawing closer and closer, until its sniffing nose almost touched Albrecht's face. Friedrich stuck his back on the wall of the opposing cell, not daring to breathe, as his heart pounded. Albrecht's delicate fingers sunk into the thick silvery fur, caressing, and the wolf let out a submissive whimper. He murmured something into the wolf's ear, and then stood up. He guided the wolf out of the cell, holding a firm grasp on the back of its neck.

"Isn't it beautiful?" Albrecht asked smiling innocently.

Friedrich thought that asking how Albrecht could suddenly talk to wolves was of no use, it was much simpler to think that there must have been a logical explanation that for some reason escaped him. He gulped to regain his voice.

"Ho-How did they catch it?"

"The guard who takes care of the dogs shot it with a tranquilizing dart, I think," his friend explained. "He's not injured."

"Oh…" He shifted uncomfortably, staring down at the beast. The wolf stared back, observing his every move.

"Now let's get it out of here."

"WHAT?"

"Down there, after the last cell on the right, there's a door that leads outside," Albrecht pointed, heading in the said direction.

"You… You can't let the wolf go! It's insane! They'll know someone has unlocked the door! They'll discover us!" Friedrich shouted.

"Please, Friedrich. They'll kill it if I don't," Albrecht pleaded with a pained expression.

Friedrich struggled to find something clever to say while Albrecht unlocked the door and pushed it open with his shoulder. "What about that girl? If she's out there and the wolf-" he remembered suddenly.

"The girl is gone…" Albrecht said biting his lower lip.

The grey wolf darted out through the open door, crossed the school grounds in a few large leaps and disappeared behind the trees.

"Great!" Friedrich exclaimed, for lack of better words. "Now can we please get the hell out of here before we're completely screwed?"

"I suppose they'll know it was me, but I'm already screwed anyway," Albrecht replied with a faint smile. Friedrich frowned quizzically. His friend's resignation was positively exasperating. "They caught it early this morning. My father likes to hunt, and Saturday evening he will come to hunt around here, in the forest. They were keeping the wolf alive especially for him, I've heard the guards talking. He was going to shoot it in its cage."

"That doesn't sound like much of a hunt…" Friedrich commented.

Albrecht's usually innocent and sweet face suddenly twisted into a wicked grin that Friedrich had never seen before and sent chills down his spine. The strange gleam was back in his light blue eyes, wild and feral, positively terrifying.

"What do you know, instead of one helpless wolf in a cage, he'll face a pack of wolves in the dark," he murmured and the grin widened. "And wolves are not children…"

Friedrich flinched and involuntarily took a step back. "Albrecht… what is this?" he whispered almost choking.

"A pleasant fiction…" came the reply and the horrible vision disappeared.


	4. Forever

The _Sportlehrer_ 's whistle woke them up earlier than usual the next morning.

"Get up! In ten minutes I want to see everybody at the lake!" the man shouted and the boys jumped reluctantly from their beds. Friedrich fought sleep a few more moments, after he'd sulked under his covers almost all night, staring at Albrecht's empty bed. He must have returned after Friedrich had eventually fallen asleep, because there he was now, among the other boys, in the general frenzy to get ready.

"When I say ten minutes, then you ARE to be at the lake in ten minutes, is that clear?"

The teacher's voice was partially muffled by the biting wind that hurled away the snowflakes. Albrecht lined up right next to him and Friedrich noticed that now both his wrists were bandaged. But before he could say anything, the teacher spoke again.

"Ok. You're going to enter the air hole and swim to the second one," he explained briefly, pointing to the holes that pierced the thick layer of ice, revealing the deep, dark blue water below. "Whoever's ready goes to wash up for breakfast."

Friedrich glanced startled at Christoph, who was the first one called for the task.

"Friedrich, you're next."

His feet moved forward automatically and he caught Albrecht's terrified gaze before tossing down his clothes and diving into the ice cold water.

* * *

 

Friedrich lay in bed, under two thick blankets, trembling as the fever ravished him. He breathed hard and forced his eyes to remain open, most of the time, despite the drowsiness. All he could see when he did close them was Albrecht's palm, against his on the other side of the ice, before being swallowed by the dark abyss. Then he would scream, but strength had left him entirely. The walls and the furniture of the infirmary were all white, as if covered in snow, white, deadly snow, crushing, suffocating him.

"They say you are better. You can move back in the common bedroom," he heard Christoph's voice as if coming from another world and he briefly wondered for how long he'd been asleep.

"We were worried about you, you've been lying here for three days," Hefe added, providing the answer.

He struggled to open his eyes and shifted slowly. The fever was gone but he still felt drained. Christoph got him to sit up and Hefe cast a robe over his shoulders. They helped him back to the common bedroom and to his bed, in which Friedrich collapsed almost instantly, pulling the blanket around his body. The sight of Albrecht's empty bed was hard to bear, and he shifted his gaze, only to meet the sight of Albrecht's empty locker.

"His things are gone already…" he murmured out loud.

"They put all his things in the coffin…" Hefe explained.

"Let's not talk about this now!" Christoph whispered angrily, elbowing him.

"What do you mean?" Friedrich muttered.

"They never found his body. The divers-"

"That's enough!" Christoph cut him. "Let's let him rest."

The two boys left and Friedrich turned away from the lockers, burying his face in the pillow. His right hand delved underneath it, encountering something that felt like a crumpled piece of paper. Intrigued, he pulled it out and unfolded it carefully. It was a small sheet, torn from a math notebook.

" _First comes the love, then the pain, and then the bitterness"_ it was written in Albrecht's neat, beautiful hand-writing." _And then the blood_ " The last four words, that Albrecht had never spoken, had been added on the bottom of the page, by a foreign hand. The letters had been scribbled roughly, almost tearing the paper.

* * *

 

That night, the dream returned, but this time it was different. He was no longer running, no longer calling, too tired for the lost battle with loneliness. He simply stood out there, in the dark and cold, confined to the wasteland of his own soul.

" _Why?"_

Albrecht was there, in front of him, silent, looking uncomfortable and slightly embarrassed, as if not knowing what to say. The gray wolf was by his side, resting its head against his leg.

" _I never meant for this to happen, I thought that it would just be over, just as it was for Siegfried Gladen…_ " he finally spoke, hesitantly, avoiding Friedrich's gaze. " _And I'm so sorry I've hurt you, I never meant to… Please Friedrich, forgive and forget"._ And he was gone.

Friedrich woke up flinching, in the familiar darkness of the common bedroom. Around him, the boys were fast asleep, some snoring softly, yet his ears made him aware that someone was up and fumbling around the lockers. He sighed and settled back in bed, sinking his head in the pillow as much as he could.

"Damn it!" he heard Albrecht's unmistakable voice swearing out loud and jumped upright, squeezing the blanket in his fists. He noticed that the door of Albrecht's locker was ajar and a dark, indistinguishable figure was rummaging now through Hefe's.

"Hey! Who's there?!" he shouted, tossing his covers aside.

The intruder, a slender, rather fragile figure wrapped in a dark cloth, rose to its feet holding some sort of bundle to his chest, grabbed one of Hefe's uniforms from its coat hanger and darted out the door. Friedrich jumped down from his bed and ran after him, ignoring the protruding coolness. He followed, but the thief was unexpectedly fast and he lost trace of him in the darkness of the hallway. In front of the bathroom door he stumbled on the dark cloth that now lay piled on the floor. Kneeling, Friedrich examined it almost blindly, only to discover that it was an old, ragged blanket. He flinched in surprise as his fingers touched the melting snow between its folds. He thought he'd heard some movement in the bathroom and he rose on shaky legs, abandoning the blanket. He stepped in carefully, his ears alert, but all he could now hear was the pounding of his own heart, as he advanced in the moonlight sunken room. Who would have guessed that a common bathroom could hold such memories, Friedrich found himself thinking. The corner of his eye caught a suspicious flicker of light and he turned around just when a shadow was trying to slip past him.

"Albrecht!" he called, the word slipping from his lips without thought.

The shadow stopped abruptly and slowly turned, revealing itself. Friedrich almost stopped breathing at the sight. Indeed, Albrecht was there, in front of him, Hefe's uniform a bit loose on his slender body. There was something different about him, his hair was slightly darker, his skin paler and even his eyes appeared to have a darker shade of blue. His features had the vague iridescence of someone from a dream, all the more mesmerizing to behold.

Friedrich found himself surprised at his own calm, numbness even, in the presence of his dead friend. Albrecht's face intrigued him, more than anything else. He looked guilty and simply stood there, not moving, in complete silence, chewing his lower lip. Without another word, Friedrich reached and pulled Albrecht into his arms. Even through the thick fabric of Hefe's uniform, the cold of that unnatural body engulfed his flesh and made him flinch. Albrecht's breath was cold as ice against his cheek, yet it only made him tighten his embrace. After a few moments he pulled back a bit and simply stared. Albrecht had always been beautiful, but now he was so beyond words, such that Friedrich wondered if he'd not strayed into dream again. And in that very moment he found the courage to do what he'd secretly dreamed of for quite a while, he pressed his lips over Albrecht's. His friend's mouth was cold, and so were his fingers, as they rose to caress Friedrich's jaw line, yet the kiss continued, deepened even, and it was completely insane but his mind ended up acknowledging that Albrecht was right there, in his arms, real and somehow _alive_.

Suddenly, Albrecht pulled away from the kiss and from Friedrich's arms. His expression displayed even more guilt and discomfort.

"I'm sorry, Albrecht, I didn't mean…" Friedrich began, shaking his head. "What's wrong?"

Albrecht's lips moved as if he was going to say something, but then he resumed chewing his lower lip, nervous. He took a few steps away from Friedrich, stuffed his hands in his pockets and cleared his throat.

"Friedrich, I would like to… be able to explain…"

"It's ok, Albrecht, don't be afraid," Friedrich said in the most soothing voice he could manage under the circumstances.

"I'm not afraid," he replied with a brief smile "Not anymore, it's just… I don't want you to be afraid. I know I've put you through a lot, and I'm… very sorry, but I want you to know that I would never hurt you. Not _you_ , I couldn't…"

"Albrecht, I fear nothing! I only feared that I'd lost you, but now you're here, you're..." He did not dare to say " _alive_ ".

Albrecht shook his head, averting his friend's gaze. "Friedrich, I can't stay…"

"Why not?" Friedrich asked panicked and took a step forward, but Albrecht backed away.

"I told you I could never hurt you. You're so strong, so warm… And I don't trust myself around you," he whispered visibly ashamed.

"How could you hurt me?" The blond's brow furrowed in confusion as he considered his words. Albrecht looked positively cornered; there was something he struggled to say, something he _had_ to say but did not find the courage to.

"You know, I had a dream about you earlier…" Friedrich recalled. "And you told me that you thought that it would just be over, just as it was for Siegfried Gladen. It was strange…"

"It's true. I did think it." Albrecht took a deep breath and straightened his back. "I thought I was going to drown and it would be done. I hadn't planned it, but when I got down there, beneath the ice, it was so peaceful, it called me, I suddenly knew that in the blue depth, there would be no more pain… And for a while it was so, for a rather short while…" He paused, leaning against the window sill and glancing outside. "Friedrich, I've been lying to you these last days. I lied to you about the girl."

"What do you mean?"

"I did find her again. I kept seeing her every night. Well, at least until four days ago..."

"Oh Albrecht, you could have told me…" Friedrich whispered drawing closer.

"It's not what you think…I still don't know how to say it. And please stay away from me!"

"But I don't mind, I'm not angry with you. And I'm sorry about earlier, that was… I don't know what I was thinking," Friedrich said reaching to stroke Albrecht's cheek.

"Don't!" Albrecht shouted, his pupils widening. "Get away from me, I'm serious. You stood too close, for too long!"

"Albrecht, what-"

In a split second Friedrich saw the sharp white teeth before Albrecht bit deep into the wrist of his outstretched hand. He cried in pain and struggled to escape, but he was held in an iron grip. Frantic, he slammed his fist into Albrecht's jaw with all his strength. Except this time Albrecht didn't even stumble, just tilted his head to the side, releasing Friedrich injured arm. He collapsed on the floor, panting heavily and pressing the wound with his other hand.

_There was blood on her face and on her clothes…_

The realization dawned on him with such violence that he squeezed his eyelids shut, terror choking him once more. He tried to pray, but all such words had slipped from his memory and he could only beg for the nightmare to end. Still, when he did dare to open his eyes, Albrecht was there, looking down at him with infinite sadness but keeping a safe distance.

"Look what you made me do, Friedrich… Even if I swore never to, I cannot fight it. Not always."

"Not always?!" Friedrich mumbled hysterically, still in shock.

"Well, actually almost never." Albrecht admitted, obviously embarrassed. "I'm just… so hungry."

His friend had curled up against the wall in one corner and just sat there, silent.

"See, that's why I can't stay."

"Oh I see alright…" Friedrich muttered from his corner. "But you can't leave me here. Not now."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I can't… be without you. When I thought you were dead, I thought I was going to die myself, Albrecht, I couldn't take it!"

"Friedrich, you don't know what you are saying. I am dead, sort of, and you saw what I have become!"

Friedrich nodded slowly, staring at his feet. "You can tell me the truth… are you still with her?"

Albrecht frowned and grimaced. "Hell no, Friedrich! And it wasn't like that; she compelled me to meet her so that she could… use me, for lack of better words," he said running a hand through his ruffled hair.

"Then take me with you," Friedrich said standing upright, with a stubborn expression upon his hard features.

Albrecht glanced at him rather exasperated. "Friedrich, you don't know what you ask of me! You'd have to… I drowned, for God's sake!" he pleaded.

"I understand, Albrecht. I'd have to die. I'd have to give everything up, my whole life. Well, if life is what you'd call it," he said calmly, slightly ironic.

"Friedrich… I don't think…"

"Albrecht, you were right."

"About?"

Friedrich's eyes shone feverishly and he drew closer and closer to the open window, throwing a fugitive glance outside.

"About everything you said lately. This is hell. And I won't accept it and bear it anymore than you did."

"Friedrich, don't!"

But before Albrecht could reach him, he pushed himself up, straddling the sill and disappeared into the night.

* * *

 

The pine tree tops revealed a starry night sky of magical beauty, somewhere, far above him. The sparkling snow was soft and caressing around his cheeks as he lay down in it, numb and sleepy. He stretched his legs and arms in the cool embrace that was pleasant and soothing, feeling life coming back to him, slowly but surely.

"Ok, let's say I deserved that," he heard Albrecht muttering from somewhere close. Friedrich sat up and glanced around, and there he was, sat on a fallen branch, with the enormous grey wolf by his side. "However, I did NOT deserve to have to clean the mess you made down in the yard and to have to come back for your stuff," he added throwing a bundle made out of Friedrich's street clothes.

Friedrich cast another look around and smiled. "You were right; it's beautiful out here, in the forest. And now we are free, forever"

"Forever" Albrecht agreed.

**THE END**


End file.
